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The Neuro Fix Blog

Albert Einstein: “The exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler.”

Maya Angelou: “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’

Most people (except, perhaps, those of a particularly narcissistic persuasion), regardless of their experience and success, would admit to sometimes feeling like an imposter in their field of expertise. They fear that their apparent fraudulence is going to be “found out” somehow, no matter how unrealistic this might be in reality.

These feelings of inadequacy might be more understandable at the beginning of a career but the clients I have helped with Imposter Syndrome have often been at the top of their game.

For example, there was the Head Mistress of a school which had been repeatedly rated “Outstanding” under her watch; the highly qualified and successful Personal Trainer; and a much revered CEO of a company worth millions.

The problem is that, as we become more successful, we also become more uncomfortable with exposing our vulnerabilities and less likely, therefore, to admit to insecurities such as feeling like an imposter.

So we don’t always realise that other people, even those high achievers (especially those high achievers?), have the same insecurities; everyone is, to some extent, blagging it. And without that knowledge, we are, in essence, comparing the way we feel on the inside with the way other people present themselves on the outside.

The real imposters – people who lie, or use fake qualifications or charm to acquire an unjustified position – are of course less likely to be beset by self-doubt or insecurity but this is not something to be admired or emulated. With this in mind, I do not seek to completely eliminate Imposter Syndrome in the clients I treat. I think self examination is a sign of humanity, humility. A sign of caring.

What I strive for is a balance: an ability to see self doubt for what it is, to put it into a realistic framework of your achievements and to ensure that it is not an obstacle to growth and new opportunities.

I’ll share with you the two techniques I use most successfully with my clients.

 

The “Steps I Took to Get Here” List

1. Identify the role in which you most often experience Imposter Syndrome

2. Write down all the steps it took to achieve that role
including the hard work; the risks taken; the sacrifices made; the obstacles overcome; the effort; the will; the determination
(give yourself due credit: yes, luck may have played a part but we often make our own luck just by showing up, working hard and having the right attitude)

3. Leave this list where you can see it or easily access it. Read it often. Commit it to memory

4. Every time you take another step, add it to the list

The “Three Key Moments” Visualisation

1. Think of three key moments which stand out as achievements in your current role
(something which is meaningful to you: a compliment; a promotion; a breakthrough in research; a brave decision; a successful pitch)

2. Imagine those three moments on a film loop playing out in succession so you can watch in your mind as if they were on a movie clip

3. Give the movie clip a name, and watch it at least twice a day over the next week.
(remember to include the feelings which accompanied the moments, a sense of pride or joy perhaps)

4. When you next feel plagued by imposter syndrome, close your eyes and play your movie for an instant confidence boost.

 

What Now?

 

Perhaps the one significant change we can make to reduce Imposter Syndrome is to talk about it openly.

Imposter Syndrome thrives on secrecy, on the idea that you are the only one who feels this way whilst everyone else is nailing life, unencumbered by insecurity and self doubt.

What if, rather than hiding your fears in the dark, you bring them out into the light by sharing them. When someone exposes their vulnerabilities, we tend to find it comforting, a relief, a reminder us that we are not alone in navigating the difficulties of life. Essentially, voicing your fears takes away their power.

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